Fast Drafting, NaNo, and Changes

It has taken me from the end of November, when I finished Nanowrimo, until an hour ago to pull my thoughts together in regards to all the writing I've accomplished in the past two months.

My overworked brain needed to gorge on caffeine and sweet baked goodness and quiet, happy places before it would cooperate with a round-up here on the blog. Now I really understand the twitter hashtag "writerproblems".

On December 1st, I felt like this:

I'm good. I'm gooo-ahh*YAWN* Just don't touch me.

Over the last week, I've finally turned into:

Are we going to do this or not?

Was all the writing worth it?
Hells Yes.
Awesome. Why?
See below:

1. Taking the Fast Draft/Revision Hell class held me accountable and taught me I could finish a draft. And revise it. Well, revise it a bit.

1a - I'd never send said revised draft to beta readers, much less out with queries, but it is a more polished draft than the original hurried draft.

2. Nanowrimo was amazing. As I'd just finished a 70k word MS in two weeks the month before, 50k came much easier. Added plus: this MS was handled with more care as I wanted to focus on the story and not just word count - which was easier to do after that the FD class made me a believer in my own ability to finish on time.

2a - Only downside was that I didn't check in everyday and I didn't verify my 53k word MS at the end of the month (it's not finished, but my nano word goal was met). Ooops! Well, there's always next year to get that Winner Badge for the blog. Still, I was happy to know my October MS wasn't a fluke. Thanks to November Nanowrimo, I now have two viable manuscripts.

3. After all the writing and revisions and both stories were put away, I can honestly say I'm stupendously proud that I forced myself to just do it! BICHOK (butt in chair, hands on keyboard) actually works. Imagine that. No wonder other writers were quoting BICHOK for like ever.

See, I've had this writer problem since I chose creative writing as my focus in college. Maybe you've heard of my writer-disease: Holding Oneself To Perfectionist Ideals That Are Totally Unrealistic.

Or maybe it's just me.
It started with classes and lectures that went as so:

Professors: Read this on craft. Read this published fiction piece. Recreate in your work.
Me: Wait, there are rules? And formulas?! And I'm doing it ALL WRONG!
Professors: *stares*
Me: *obsesses over non-rules, non-formulas, and flails* I will not write until I know everything there is to know about every part of the creative process so that when my characters do anything there is a deep rooted reason and it will be a brilliant reason with shiny metaphors and symbolism.

Yeah... That went about as well as you can imagine.

See, I could go on and on about how productive or hindering this type of learning enviornment can be, but what works for some doesn't for others, and vice versa. So, I'll just say that in my case it helped tremendously in some areas and nearly crippled me in others. I received my BA, MALS, & MFA within 7 years. Every bit of craft I learned in creative writing and screenwriting during that time was mostly valuable. However, it has since taken me 2 years (and counting) to let the creative process flow organically.

I'm happy to report that what the past two months of marathon writing has taught me the most is:
To write without hesitation, and not overanalyze Every Single Word/Decision/Outcome.

Oh, and one other gem I discovered writing all the words:
(you know how you hear something over and over again, but you never get the full meaning until it's something you've experienced for yourself? Yeah, that...)

Knowing that I have material ready to be worked over (if either of the stories still beckon to me a few months from now) is a huge motivator. After two months of BICHOK, I no longer have to stare at a blank page and worry if I'll fail or not. I've proved to myself that I can do this. I have stories on actual pages to work with. And that is a gift greater than any class fee, or month of dedicated writing.

What's next for this Writer Girl?
I have a new idea that is in the early stages of development. And now that I know I can finish a draft, I'm going to try and let this WIP flow as organically as possible - no more long outlines, no more obsessing over theme and symbolism, and no more analyzing every detail to death - I have started writing something with only a general idea of the beginning, middle, and end. And the freedom to fill in the holes the way the characters want is liberating in a way that finally allows my creative brain to breathe without anxiety or fear. It is a delicious feeling.

If you're still reading this - THANK YOU. You are awesome, and you should totally eat the biggest piece of chocolate near you. Also, I promise to do a more streamline job of blogging from here on out.

Any writing news, plans, or discoveries on your end friends?

In my absence, I...

1. Finalized the revision notes for Secret Idea/Thesis Script. Still no set in stone title, but a tagline is forthcoming.

2. Finally found a grown-up dress for graduation.

3. Wore said dress under this ridiculously hot polyester-rayon blend, but MAGNIFICENT robe to my MFA graduation!!! 

4. Wrote a hopefully helpful email to a prospective graduate student that has been accepted to both the Screenwriting and Children's Literature programs at my alma mater (it's weird to refer to it as such, now. Ah, bittersweet).

5. Placed thousands of applications out into the world and am now gearing up for interviews (gotta have the day job to support the dream), all while planning my ultimate-relocation-mission post haste.

6. Lastly, I've been eagerly anticipating this awesomeness to happen: A live-chat about outlining from none-other than Jackson Pearce herself. Ah, so excited!!! If you haven't checked out her blog or watched her YouTube Channel, you're so missing out.

That is all for now. I'll be back soon with more regular blogging.

Today is a day for Inspiration

Made this and wanted to share with you, Dear Readers. It speaks for itself...

(photo: Samantha Sessoms. Quote: The Genius a.k.a. Steve Jobs.)

51 Days of... (FYI, I have a lot to say in this one)

(photo: Samantha Sessoms. For you, Dear Reader, because our family loves putt-putt, and the lake, and especially putt-putt above the lake. Oh, and this post is about crossing metaphorically bridges, even if they're scary...)

In the last 51 days the following happened:

a. I started to unravel at the seams and my graduate Thesis Script contracted my anxiety.

b. Mr. Sessoms was told the company he worked for would close in June.

c. The entire outline and first act of Thesis Script were tossed in a drawer. Never to be heard from again (not now anyway). Seriously. I had a momentous sit down with my writer-self and realized that the anxiety was because I had nothing to say for that particular movie idea. I let others hype about how good the idea was influence my decision to write it instead of Secret Idea I'd been passionate about for the last year and half.

d. Little Man and Baby Girl became socialites of their elementary school, for about three weeks straight, it was something everyday it seemed. Including Little Man's field trip to his future Middle School. I'm not ashamed to admit I went all raving-mother, or, Is That Profanity On The Bathroom Stalls, These 8^th Graders Are Going To Corrupt My Angel. I say this because of course My Son will never turn into a hormone-raging, obnoxious teenager like ALL of the kids I grew up with. *wink, wink *

e. I worked at, and was laid off from, two part-time temporary jobs.

f. I pulled out all the outlines (there were SO many) for Secret Idea, and all the notes (on receipts, post-its, junk mail, junk mail envelopes, memo pad paper... I mean you name it and I'll write on it if a scene/line/motive/character/description comes to me) Any how, I gathered all Secret Idea's notes/outlines and got to work creating a coherent updated version. Then I gave myself permission to write Secret Idea instead of Thesis Script, which was HUGE because I was afraid to tell my Thesis Advisor of the change. What if he thought I was just being lazy, whiny, writer-distracted-by-new-shiny-idea? I had to approach him with something serious to show Thesis Advisor that Secret Idea was meant to be my new Thesis Script II.

g. Mr. Sessoms was laid off (along with everyone else at the company, but still). As you are aware, if you have a calendar, it is not June. This was not good.

h. Little Man and Baby Girl participated in their school's science fair. Little Man created a tornado in a box. It took four different tries with fan types, and more dry ice than anyone should buy in a weekend (I think Mr. Sessoms is on a Special Watch List now at our local market), but it worked! He was very confident and articulate in front of the judges, receiving excellent marks and a gold medal. Baby Girl partnered with a friend in her class to make the classic project: Volcano. But, wait, this was not any run-of-the-mill science fair volcano, this was a volcano that bordered the ocean. Play-doh waves and palm trees made an appearance, along with real lava rocks. The judges loved the creativity, but wished the girls would have spoke up more (they're still kind of shy and soft spoken), not to be fazed, the girls ran around the room holding their silver medals high!

i. I finished the outline for Secret Idea/Thesis Script II. Then I discovered SCRIVENER. Oh My Drafting! I've never been able to describe my writing style before because I jot notes everywhere I can, in all their out-of-order glory (if you remember), but I also can't write until everything is organized. Then, I need to see it, all of it, laid out in a visual way (not a word document I have to scroll through). See how that could wreck havoc on a writer?! Me too - it's so 3-deminsional character of me! Enter Scrivener - think: Sexy Kick-Ass You Want Me theme music – Scrivener sashayed into my life all shaved-short hair, brooding guy rocking 12 pack abs – it was HOT! Seriously, this program rocks my writer world. I can attach note cards and outlines to specific scenes, and then I can move within said scenes whenever I want without scrolling. For the first time ever I was able to write which ever scene I wanted with the click of my mousepad. I was writing my writer-tail off! (sadly, Scrivener did not pay me to write this post, shame on them)

j. Mr. Sessoms went to NC for a week to look for work, so we could relocate. I was elated, y'all. It seemed the dream of beaches and writing under Spanish moss-covered old Oaks was right around the corner. It really turned the job lay-off into the most positive experience one could have from such a situation. Then...he came back with not many leads, or hopes to move soon. I'm still keeping my fingers crossed because I'm into unrequited tragedy like that, and I just want the ocean to need me the way I need it!

k. Mr. Sessoms was called for interviews in our hometown. This should be a good thing. I have nothing else to say about that.

l. Today, on April 5^th 2012, I completed Secret Idea/Thesis Script II. All 150 pages of it. I'm not even kidding. Another cool thing about Scrivener is that you can draft novels, screenplays, teleplays, plays, essays, etc. That being said, there was no regular Final Draft page number in the corner while I wrote. I just got everything out and now I have more than enough material to work with in revisions. I. Loved. This. It may not be for some, but I can't stop smiling – seriously, it's like someone gave me a thousand dollars to go buy office supplies, I have perma-grin! Though, I shouldn't give the page count and the 'I finished' aspect all the credit, there is another reason I'm overjoyed. For the first time ever I'm relieved to be finished with a project (especially before deadline), AND at the same time I can't wait to get back into it. Not even joking, I had to put the hard copy in a drawer to keep it from my greedy fingers and eyes. Now I know what everyone's been making a fuss over. I love this project. I know my characters inside and out. You could throw any event at me and I'll be able to tell you how each of them would react. I even have so much love for it, I can't wait for my betas to tear it apart so I can make it that much better. This has never happened to me before – I've only ever written for plot and created the characters around my main idea. What a heady difference. I'm addicted!

Our last *51 days have been a roller coaster of stress and sheer joy, but it was the best 51 days I've had in a long time simply from being around people I love more than anything in this world, opportunities knocking at our door in the face of bad times, and finally giving myself over to my dream – trusting it to take me further than I could have imagined.

*There is nothing significant about 51, other than the day I could no longer write Thesis Script. Wish it was cooler than that. You have my permission to make something up, if you'd like :)

A Most Wonderful Gift

A very, very dear friend of mine sent me a gift in celebration of this new blog a couple weeks ago. It was the best gift I've ever received in regards to my writing journey. It took me awhile to gather the words to tell this story, as I still don't feel enough can be said about a gift this small in size, but gargantuan in thoughtfullness, motivation, and unconditional support.

So there I was the following day after starting the blog, busy as always, running around helping a friend move, keeping Little Man and Baby Girl occupied, and trying to think of my next blog post when I come home late in the evening to find a box at the front door. Imagine my surprise when I see it's from Amazon. I had not ordered anything. Was not expecting any ARCs at the moment and was quite honestly scared that if I opened the package I'd be financially responsible for the mysterious content. And what was it? Who was it from? Dear Friend had sent my package as a gift with no return address, and with no sender name on the front. Oh, Amazon, how you torture us sometimes.

I walked in, told Little Man and Baby Girl to go straighten up their rooms (yes, it was one of those days for them, see my first post to clarify), I stood in the foyer for about five minutes considering my choices. I listened closely for clock/bomb noises, gave it a little shake, then finally ripped in - I shall never turn down an adventure!

And it was!:

I almost cried when I finally saw it was from Dear Friend! He had just asked me if I'd read this story. I was clueless of the title, not even realizing it was the lovely Dr. Seuss - a childhood favorite (Dear Friend loves Sci-Fi so I had assumed Oh The Place You'll Go was some obscure otherworldly book he had found - silly me! And to my credit, after he'd asked if I'd read the story he never brought up the author, or why he wanted to know. Please forgive me for not knowing it was Dr. Seuss. Please.).
Not only had Dear Friend over-nighted me this most lovely of New Blog/Journey gifts, he sent me the Pop-Up version. I had perma-grin the entire time I read! The images were so lovely in 3D, as if I was walking through the story along with, You.
Dear Friend had hit all my anxious, overwhelming, joyful emotions about starting down this Writerly Road right on the nose. I could have never asked, or imagined, a better befitting gift.
I'd also like to add, that I've never been happier to have over-looked a classic book as a child. It usually pulls at my writer-soul to hear someone say, "You've never read __(insert classic book that makes you look like a non-reader/writer if you've never placed your eyes on said literature)__." Though this time I was thoroughly relieved that I was able to savor this particular story for the first time when its meaning would hit the most cords in me. When its words would be so powerful, they would give me the strength to continue on this journey and even see a beam of hope and good times ahead.
Oh The Places You'll Go is truly an inspiration and I could never fully express the depth of gratitude I hold for Dear Friend.

Sometimes books come into our lives when we most need them, and sometimes they come through the best friends anyone could ask for. I hope this weekend leads some readers to unread stories that inspire them as I've been inspired.