This past weekend my oldest child celebrated his twelfth birthday. Twelve, lovely readers. Where has the time gone?
Anyhow, while discussing his birth and sprouting years, as he enjoys on his birthday, we came around to his future hopes and dreams. Which lead to a very special discussion.
My little man declared that I inspire him. Me.
I couldn't believe it. I know they've been present for all the recent milestones, but I never knew it would affect them so. I'd always assumed they were indifferent as long as they had a healthy, loving environment.
Not the case. He has paid meticulous attention to all the work I've put into school (which both children watched me graduate from), and my writing, and my day job that helps pay our bills.
This revelation got me thinking: it warmed my heart to truly inspire him, but what am I teaching my kids if I'm not pushing forward with serious intention?
I've taken writing classes and finished two novels to date, but I've yet to draft something I want to take all the way to query. My new WIP has all the possibility to be The One that leads to the world of publication, but I get so overwhelmed for free time that it's taken me a month to outline.
Guilt set in and I worried what my children were really learning if they were watching me chase my dream so closely. Did they see my constant fear? Did they notice that I often set my dreams aside for other responsibilities?
I've constantly wished I could dedicate more time to do all things writing related. But how could I do that without neglecting them? I mean, I need to actively be there when they're home - whether it's homework, fixing dinner for them, talking, or just making sure they clean their room, bathe, brush their teeth, and say goodnight.
I need to find time to write when they're not around. Right?
Well, it turns out Mr. Sessoms thinks I'm wrong. He believes I should take this opportunity of enlightenment and do something about it - not just for myself, but for the kids. So that they see how determination and persistence can pay off, and that working toward your dreams can be satisfying in the journey itself.
(He also says that it has been fear talking and not guilt of neglecting time with the kids. When did he get so logical? ;-))
What if I took a month or two to really focus on my writing? What if I took longer?
I was speechless. We have so much on our plates already, but what if none of that changes anytime soon? What if I meet each day with a promise to myself - to write and not look back.
Could I do that without guilt? Could I take a year of days dedicated to quiet writing hours?
How wonderful. How full of possibility.
And how utterly terrifying!
Pressure immediately seeped in.
I never want to let my family down, but how could I promise my supportive partner, and these lovely little people that are offering the greatest gift of all - time - that I'll use it wisely? Instead of over-thinking it TOO much, as I tend to do, I stopped contemplating all the "what-ifs"and decided the best way to successfully use this new gift would be to JUST DO IT.
After all, no matter the outcome, I'll hopefully continue to inspire my children by showing them that a dream is always worth reaching for.
Which leads to this blog post, dear readers. I'm going to get over my fears and do this by holding myself accountable with a 365 day blog project. I have friends and acquaintances that are using this prompt for photography, crafts, and just journaling.
Why not my writing journey? I'm ready to take this new WIP all the way. Might as well document it and share it with you lovely people.
What to expect:
Links to articles
photos, movies, songs
I hope that anyone currently following my blog, or new comers, find some interesting writing tidbits from my new journey. And feel free to share any 365 day blogs you host or follow.
Check back tomorrow for the official start of my Year of Writing!